Pub. 6 2016 Issue 1

21 An Inescapable Business Reality Unfortunately, business does inevitably involve conf lict sometimes. If the conflict escalates to the point of going to court: • It distracts managers and employees from doing their work. • It can damage business relationships with vendors and clients. • It can hurt the reputation of any business that is involved, which in turn can scare off any number of people: con- sumers, investors, potential partners, groups involved with industry oversight, and even company employees. Conflict can have a negative effect on a company’s livelihood now and in the future. In an ideal world, therefore, any intelligent person will try very hard to avoid letting any business conflict get out of hand. But sometimes businesses just don’t have a choice. Why, then, do so many cases involving businesses end up in court? There are several reasons, all of which can be traced back to the fact that businesses are run by people, and people have weaknesses: • Emotion: Being objective and rational isn’t possible for someone who is too closely involved in a case. Some- times people can recuse themselves on that basis, but if the person responsible for bringing a particular case feels strongly enough, it can be impossible to change that person’s mind even if you sit down and talk with them in a reasonable way. • Greed: Sometimes people think they can benefit strongly from a lawsuit, and they don’t stop to look at the personal cost or the probable outcome. This is particularly true when the trial date is a long way away. As time goes by and the lawsuit becomes more and more expensive, however, many people suddenly find that the reality is far different from what they thought at the beginning, and they end up reaching an agreement with the other side. What changed? Only the realization that they’ve spent money they couldn’t afford on a cause that wasn’t worth it. • Misreading the situation: One could argue (as Neil Shee- han did in his book A Bright Shining Lie) that the U.S. ended up in Vietnam because it didn’t understand Viet- namese history. The same problem can occur in business. Suppose someone hasn’t performed an accurate analysis of the situation, or has misunderstood a key point. Maybe n Problem Solving — continued on page 22 the person deciding to push the issue hasn’t thought about the cost of a lawsuit, has overestimated potential gain from the revenue, or doesn’t really understand whether the available evidence, if any, is any good. Whatever the facts are, someone who doesn’t understand the situation correctly is not going to make good choices. • Misunderstanding: If you think another person is going to attack you, it might seem smart to deliver the first punch. If you think someone is a coward, you might try intimidation. Neither strategy will be effective if you are wrong. Communicating with another person can help you gain a much better understanding of that other person’s point of view. Without that communication, though, you are likely to misunderstand the opposition. • Stubbornness and pride: It’s hard to fix a problem if the other person won’t negotiate or compromise. When that happens, and giving in to unreasonable demands would constitute a big mistake, there isn’t much option for any- thing other than a lawsuit. The Right Kind of Intelligence Learning how to deal with conflict is a matter of emotional intelligence. And although that termmight seem like something you either have or you don’t have, the fact is that emotional intel- ligence is a skill that can be learned. Daniel Goleman, a former New York Times science reporter who made this subject part of his life’s work, won the American Psychological Associa- tion’s Lifetime Achievement Award as a direct result. His book, Emotional Intelligence, is a good place to start developing your own skills. What are the three key pieces of advice he has when it comes to applying emotional intelligence? Much abbreviated, the fol- lowing points are a place to start: • When you are trying to protect a well-established rela- tionship, it’s important to calm down before you act, to monitor your thoughts and reframe toxic ones, and to work on your empathy skills so that you do not react in a defensive way. Being defensive means you are going to miss important information. • People rise to what is expected of them. If you treat them with respect, they will respond in kind. As part of that respect, you should know the difference between a criticism and a complaint. Criticism ignores its effect on someone else’s feelings. Complaints or critiques, on the other hand, are not personal attacks and should include a chance for feedback and an idea as to how to improve. The most important part, of course, consists of being sensitive to the other person’s feelings. It helps when be- ing respectful is simply part of the company’s identity. • The mind and the body are connected. You can’t make a disease go away just by thinking happy thoughts, but being angry can contribute to heart problems, and being I t isn’t hard to deal with those who like us and who are treating us in a friendly way. When serious disagreements come up, however, the situation is immediately more challenging.